I'm sorry guys for not posting. A lot of things have been going on in my life. More bad then good. I just feel unmotivated and stressed. I feel that everything I do, it's not good enough. And even if I try, it'll just end up bad. Mostly because of my parents, they never support me, encourage me or thing that told me that I am a good person. It's always I'm doing something wrong, I'm not good enough. Maybe at first it didn't hurt but eventually sinks in and I find myself feeling hopeless. I had to write a paper on motivations in myself. And... I had to make things up because I couldn't find person in my family that had motivated me. It made me realize that I had put my dreams aside for them. Everything for them. But they don't see that. and if you're wondering why I never post about going places....it's because I'm not allowed to go anywhere without them. I'm going to be 19 years old in less then a month.... in nine days. and a 10 year old has probably gone out more then I have :/ . And people ask me why don't I just leave. ... I can't... It's not that easy.
And for me making friends is a very difficult thing. I'm shy, I don't talk. I get it. But I get yelled because of this. WHY? I don't know. maybe because I'm not allowed to have friends. I don't know guys. It's been a bad month. It's been a bad life.
sorry for this sad post. but I needed to rant.
eh....
So .... What are some chains that hold you back?
I was actually in the same boat as you until around 20 years of age. My parents just really didn't support me and I had to ask them for permission to do anything. (*sigh* Asian parents...) I put aside a lot of dreams for them. But my senior year in college I finally blew up and told them I can't handle it anymore. Lots of fighting, lots of sit down bonding talk (especially with my mom... My dad isn't quite there yet), and a year later I've definitely been able to do more. It's hard getting it across to them--that you have certain dreams and aspirations that you want to do that isn't necessarily their cup of tea, but if they see you being successful in those fields, they'll slowly calm down.
ReplyDeleteMy parents may yell at me and say that they hate where my life is going, but deep down I know they just want to see me living a comfortable life free of suffering, and that's why they express their concerns in such a harsh manner. Every parent is different, but I found just really sticking out for yourself and going through a few rough months can really turn things around.
Best of luck girlie, I don't want to see you sad. ;A;
:,) thank you. ♥ maybe someday i'll have the guts to tell them like you did... but you know... they call it "talking back" if i try to explain myself.
Deleteand yes i know they want the best for me but... in reality it's not helping at all.. it's just holding me down....
Yeah, I've actually had my parents get phsyically violent for me before. It's definitely not easy "talking back" and sometimes they still go on and on about how I'm "so different" now but in the end I'm doing a lot more of what /I/ want to do so those are the sacrifices I had to make. ;_____;
DeleteI totally get that. If you want to talk more, feel free to e-mail me at lanarosefanfan AT yahoo. =)
http://shojo-m.blogspot.de/2013/02/liebster-award.html you got tagged~ ^^
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about how you've been feeling. I can honestly relate. I feel like nothing I ever do is good enough. It's hard. But do what is best for yourself. Take care of your mind and your body. It's a small start, but it can't hurt.
ReplyDeleteOhh no, you shouldn't blame yourself for this bad month! Keep fighting and working, so you'll be awarded. Just be patient.
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling, I'm pretty quiet and shy, too. It's a gross problem because I can't make friends quickly and school is also very...bad.
Hope you'll beat this bad time!
xx